Have had about a hundred million work 1-1s exactly like this. You eventually learn that your role there is just to mirror back whatever that person wants to hear, not to share. It’s demoralizing but conserves your energy. But I find that conserving energy doesn’t always lead to more total energy, it often leads to less.
The work slop thing is impossible for me to bear, and it’s my biggest advantage and probably the biggest thing holding me back because I’m just not capable of pretending at scale.
sometimes people say things to hear themselves speak and are not actively listening. Especially when you become a leader you are supposed to say all the right things but if listening meant you had to change your framework, you're suddenly disrupted.
“Over time, you learn to pre-edit — to show up already adjusted for the amount of attention you’re going to get.”
So profoundly true, Rachel. Carl Rogers and Heinz Kohut write about how the parts of us that are seen and accepted by others become integrated into our self. The parts that are not seen (paid attention to) get split off and dissociated. We become smaller and frailer in the absence of others who will pay full attention. Our distracted culture (phones, overwork) makes it very difficult to find people who can listen and see who we are.
Very much resonate with your experience. But I don’t think “slop” and “rigor” are the right words.
“Slop” is a bit of a mess, mess on the edges, like a sloppy joe or what our cats leave on the sides of their bowls. The “AI slop” you’re describing is bad in its essence, it misses the point completely, while — just as damning — pretending to be spot on. More like Lucky Charms pretending to be a healthy breakfast.
And what you’re providing isn’t about “rigor”, it’s about honesty, actually caring about the outcome to the user, unwilling to just pretend to do the work. It’s like when you’re raising kids well: it’s not about how rigorously they study, it’s about whether they’re truly learning, they’re developing to be great humans, whether they are setting up to have great lives.
And yes, if only more people inside companies were willing to be honest, to relentlessly seek the best outcomes for their users, and to act the same way towards their colleagues no matter the hierarchy…
Have had about a hundred million work 1-1s exactly like this. You eventually learn that your role there is just to mirror back whatever that person wants to hear, not to share. It’s demoralizing but conserves your energy. But I find that conserving energy doesn’t always lead to more total energy, it often leads to less.
The work slop thing is impossible for me to bear, and it’s my biggest advantage and probably the biggest thing holding me back because I’m just not capable of pretending at scale.
sometimes people say things to hear themselves speak and are not actively listening. Especially when you become a leader you are supposed to say all the right things but if listening meant you had to change your framework, you're suddenly disrupted.
“Over time, you learn to pre-edit — to show up already adjusted for the amount of attention you’re going to get.”
So profoundly true, Rachel. Carl Rogers and Heinz Kohut write about how the parts of us that are seen and accepted by others become integrated into our self. The parts that are not seen (paid attention to) get split off and dissociated. We become smaller and frailer in the absence of others who will pay full attention. Our distracted culture (phones, overwork) makes it very difficult to find people who can listen and see who we are.
I love this. Thank you for sharing and adding more depth.
Also been dying to get to Tblisi for years!!
You should! It’s just the best!! Loved it so much
Very much resonate with your experience. But I don’t think “slop” and “rigor” are the right words.
“Slop” is a bit of a mess, mess on the edges, like a sloppy joe or what our cats leave on the sides of their bowls. The “AI slop” you’re describing is bad in its essence, it misses the point completely, while — just as damning — pretending to be spot on. More like Lucky Charms pretending to be a healthy breakfast.
And what you’re providing isn’t about “rigor”, it’s about honesty, actually caring about the outcome to the user, unwilling to just pretend to do the work. It’s like when you’re raising kids well: it’s not about how rigorously they study, it’s about whether they’re truly learning, they’re developing to be great humans, whether they are setting up to have great lives.
And yes, if only more people inside companies were willing to be honest, to relentlessly seek the best outcomes for their users, and to act the same way towards their colleagues no matter the hierarchy…